This is from our performance with Aerial Arts of Utah. 

How relationships teach us about ourselves:
“The closer I’m bound and look to you, the closer I am to free.” - Indigo Girls

Relationships are powerful tools for learning about ourselves. They teach us our limits and they help us expand our limits.  Through relating we learn what to say ‘yes’ to and what to say ‘no’ to.  We learn what makes us happy and what makes us sad, we learn what makes us feel afraid and safe. Ultimately, we learn how to help others understand how we want to be treated, loved and cared for.

Our relationships mold our movements as well as our thoughts from the day we are born.  As evolving beings, we are constantly outwardly relating, learning, mirroring and embracing each other’s actions, thoughts and emotions.  As a small baby, our survival depends on being heard, understood and cared for by the other.

Our interactions with each other teach us to grow and evolve above and beyond what we would be capable of on our own.  It is only in relationship that we get to have an outward experience of our inner most being.  This outer experience can be a powerful tool for expanding our looking glass at our inner being.  Our inner being learns limits of what is too much yes and what is too much no by having outer experiences of happiness, sadness, contentment or distrust.  

When we find our outward experience of relating confusing or full of sadness we must listen inward to see what inner truth wants to be unveiled. Our inner world may not be obvious to the other person and, most importantly, may not be known to us.  When inquiring within, we must view the unfolding of our inner truth with abundant compassion at all times, but especially at times of turmoil.    

If we come across stress and strain in our relations that could be a result of the stress and strain of the relationship of our outer self needing to listen to our inner self. In this case, our inner self is those thoughts and feelings we have that we chose not to express and our outer self is what we chose to express.  This is the time to take a step back and listen to the passing thoughts and feelings that we have not expressed.  When we hear our inner self as clear as a bell, it will inform us how to teach others the specifics of what we know about ourselves and how we want to be treated.  Once we are able to give our inner self a voice, the stress and strain of relating not only subsides but we are rewarded by a new level of clarity, closeness and profound care from others. 

Other people can only care for us as much as we have learned to care for ourselves.  We must first receive connection, clarity and harmony from within to recognize it and receive it from others.  This is how others can help us create a deeper connection with ourselves and help us shed light on our inner truths.

The ancient greeks said, “Know thyself”.  I would like to add to that: through knowing others we are constantly learning to know ourself.  We are an adaptable, changing organismism that is constantly shaping and becoming who we are.  It is only through the experience of relating that I have learned each one of my heart’s desires are unique, precious and worthy of being heard.  

Every day we have the courageous opportunity to practice listening to our heart and contributing to others from this place of wisdom.  However, it may not be until we come to the testing grounds of partnership that we desperately seek out our true nature and come to uncover our deepest, most profound creative and expansive self.  If for no other reason but to learn that we are immensely loved.

As long as we live, each one of us will have an influence on not just one human being, but many countless human beings.  As we do, let’s not forget to quiet our emotions, turn our gaze inward and listen to the small voice of our heart so that we may live in a creative, conscious, loving, ever-evolving world.